Hidden Tadpole is a celebration of my journey finding a stillness within myself. It is also a pathway for those that wish to discover it themselves too. I have Andō (Silentium) and Bodhi (Flowers of Emptiness) to thank for guiding me here.

“I approached the pond, and as my shadow loomed over the water, I saw black tadpoles scurry from their hiding spots. One settled among shadows, but in the open - hidden in the light. There it stayed for a minute or two, until darting to some other place unseen. The only thing left was the dirt it displaced, drifting and dispersing slowly, silently.

I thought about getting a stick and inciting more movement. The instinct to poke and prod corners to see more. I did, and nothing came. I’ve seen all that they allowed me to see.

I felt guilty for tapping the water with my stick. For digging into crevices, possible homes. I wouldn’t like it if someone did it to me. So, the next day, I resigned myself to sit next to the pond and stare.

The sun was on my back as I sat on the edge. Knees to my chest, arms resting atop them and my head down. Bees buzzed in my ear and around me, never staying for long. I was just a part of their environment, like the trees. At the slightest breeze the pond water and all its debris would shift up slowly, and then back down. Insects skimmed the top of the water, tiny leap after tiny leap. Bubbles came from the bottom and popped on the top. Sometimes a ripple would sound and resonate, but whatever caused it was already gone.

After some time, one tiny black tadpole skimmed the bottom, and disappeared into shadow. It was worth the wait. I left soon after, the day just beginning.”

- excerpt from my Substack newsletter post 3/28/25


"Bodhidharma said, in order to see a fish you must watch the water. Actually, when you see water, you see the true fish. Before you see Buddha nature, you watch your mind. When you see the water, there is true nature. True nature is watching water."

- Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind Beginners Mind.

-

My name is Colin M. Alley, in my late twenties and exploring a part of me I have never explored before. Hidden Tadpole is a website to showcase my haiku poems / zines, photography, and thoughts. I live in North GA, USA with my beautiful wife. :]

I have been writing haiku for a year now as of April 2025 - the date of the website’s creation. I started writing haiku in the traditional 575 syllable format to fall in love with nature again. I fell hard. Everything started captivating me, and before I knew it, I was touching upon something completely unknown. A stillness within me. Poetic moments led me to a profound sense of calm.

I made a newsletter on Substack originally called “The Alleyway”, which would be my first foray into sharing my poems online. I very quickly found people who not only wrote haiku but wrote GREAT haiku. Haiku that would leave me breathless and show me new perspectives.

I took to Zen Buddhism by their words, so most of my haiku come from a sense of mindfulness and calm. These poems are meditations of the heart distilled into a breath.

All of my poems are captured from real moments I observe in nature or wherever else.

My photography is another aspect of that. I shoot with my phone or Minolta SRT 101 Camera. I only started shooting photos seriously, but I am none the less very proud of the moments I’ve captured to show you all.